What are some funny and smart quotes?

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

Why do some people dislike rap and hip hop music despite there being poor quality music in every genre?

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

Wow! The changeover from President Biden to VP Kamala Harris as candidate could not have been more successful in just 2 days! It was as if they had been planning it. Could they have planned it? Are you excited by the positive Democratic response?

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”

What was your most embarrassing wardrobe malfunction in public?

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”